Anyways, starting a new series, known as Gin-iro no Olynssis. I admit, it’s not the best anime ever ( I honestly tried watching it before and stopped at the second episode ), but I’m attempting again because my favorite seiyuu ever, Miyu Irino, is the lead male so yeah. ToT//

As for a summary–It is the year 3567 and an Olynssis barrier that disrupts space and time covers all of Earth. The planet is also being overrun by organic machines called Gardeners, which seek to exterminate all humans on the planet. Tokito Aizawa is part of a group of hunters who destroys Gardeners and sells the scraps. Although, after encountering a girl named Tea, who calls him ‘Koichi’, and her machine, Silver, his life becomes more complicated. Thank you Wiki. :B If you want to watch it, you can find the whole series at Crunchyroll.

We start off with a ~*mysterious female voice*~ saying “Koichi…”, accompanied by a sort-of trippy background and water drops as background noise. This quickly goes to a purple-haired girl standing on a cliff, with auroras lighting up the sky behind her. She touches this weird looking pendant around her neck, then starts emo’ing over this “Koichi.” Oh-so-convenient subtitles tells us she’s at “Longitude North 43’41, Latitude West 79’20, Western Meteo Town” on “October 3rd, 3567 AD.” Yeaaaah woo woo future yay.

OP get! It depicts our cast of characters… most of whose names I’ve forgotten since the last time I watched this. :D; OH WELL, we’ll get introduced to them later anyways. ( P.S., if you’re wondering why the style looks so familiar, the characters were designed by the person who did the character designs for Gundam SEED. )

Cue funky techno music and what appears to be a warzone/wasteland. A lone doll is lying on the ground next to a destroyed vehicle of some sort–it’s quickly picked up by a man, who appears to know who/what’s responsible for this. Cut to two green robot-things ridin’ dirty and…communicating somehow. They have a big purple friend, too! ( I’d make jokes about its appearance but I’d rather not waste your time. ) Two more robots come rolling through, and pass through some infrared sensor; Jin, the man from earlier, is informed by someone else that the robots have tripped the sensor. Jin gets ready to roll in his own machine with some sort of phallic cannon attacked to the back; apparently these things have ranks, and the ones we saw a little earlier are composed of one A-rank and four B-ranks.

Scene cuts in half to reveal another man, the one who Jin was talking to. Another teammate, Yousuke, appears on the left, who tells Misuzu, another member of the squad, her position for battle. We find out that the bad robots are called Decepticons Gardeners, and that there are only three rather than the five Jin was told of. Misuzu then gets attacked from behind by the other two ninja Gardeners, who start CHARGIN THEIR LAZERS at her. Unnamed guy from earlier covers her, battle scene ensues! Yaaaay. Throughout the course of the battle, we’re introduced to two more people on the team: Bryan and Eileen. Anyways, tl;dr, the team kicks the Gardeners’ asses seven ways to Sunday.

But wait–they only beat four Gardeners! Where did the A-rank one go? Apparently these things like coming at Misuzu from behind, and she’s unprepared for the incoming Gardener, when suddenly, BAM MOTHERFUCKER! A truck…boat thing crashes into the Gardener, taking it down. Misuzu asks if Tokito and Eileen are alright; Tokito responds that they’ve stayin’ alive. ALSO THIS IS MIYU’S CHARACTER ALKS;DJFA09W3RIWJ;LKVJNAWE0R89ISG YAY–I mean. Er, Eileen tells Tokito he does a lot of retarded things ( sob Miyu y ur chars always special ), but they’re okay.

It’s revealed that the gang was called on by a town to protect them from Gardeners. It seems that they also get paid to do so, by selling the parts of the Gardeners they’ve destroyed, which apparently = big bucks. However, the town leader ( I think? ) refuses to pay for the “junk,” because lol they fucked up the parts too much, oops. OH WELL. Anyways, they go into the town to hang out and stuff, and to replenish their supplies before moving onto the next town in need of protection. After being all BANZAI REAL FOOD, it’s revealed that Tokito, our shonen retard, is stuck back at the trailer cleaning up the team’s mess bawwwww. The guys tell Misuzu to get something for Tokito, who’s all “gd it I’m not his babysitter. :|” But it seems that Tokito’s a valuable part of the team, as he’s very skilled with repairing and maintenance things, and Misuzu’s the one that seems to fuck up her machine the most, so she agrees to go make him feel better, “not that she wants to” awwwww.

She ends up getting a lot of good looking food, and we go back to the trailer where Tokito is busy checking to see if it’s doing okay. However, a…oil pipe? or something? breaks, and we hear a girl’s scream. Zoom out to reveal Misuzu blocking the oil with the bag of food she bought. Tokito’s like “o hay you’re back already? that was quick |DDD” at which point Misuzu gets really pissed off! :D SURPRISE FANSERVICE in the form of Misuzu taking a shower, and it appears she’s taken out her raeg on Tokito. \o\ He checks out the food, but SOB the whole thing smells like oil, do not want. Misuzu comes out then wearing an even skimpier outfit than before, and starts pulling Tokito. sob why are his characters always so whipped.

The two of them head back to town; Misuzu remarks how good town food tastes, and Tokito responds that one day, when they’re too old to fight, that the whole team would have to settle in one town or another; then, Misuzu could have all the town food she wants. HAHA Tokito gets turned on apparently by looking at her boobs; she was going to show him something she bought, but his mind goes elsewhere and he quickly makes an excuse to go into a shop to get some more food. Say it with me now, people, “uuuuuuuke.”

But ruh roh, looks like Tokito just took a step into a bar of some sorts? Here we’re introduced to Ninja McBoobs, who’s watching Tokito from a higher floor. She fucking flies down the gd stairs and out the door, but not before leaving behind something shiny. ( Heyyyy, doesn’t that look familiar? ) He picks it up and runs after her, but oops Misuzu’s still waiting outside lol. A mysterious purple-haired girl walks past her–…waiiiit, purple-haired girl? Now where have we seen her before? HMMMM.

Anyways, cut to Tokito searching for the woman, when SURPRISE she hides in the bushes and trips him right into some old guys playing cards. Sux2bu Tokito, sux2bu. She smiles and runs off while Tokito gets threatened by said old guys, asking what a hunter like him is doing in the town. Apparently this is how things work in this future–young people are to become vagrants and fight Gardeners until they’re too old to do so any longer, at which point they settle down in a town. One of the guys GOES IN FOR A PUNCH, but is literally overthrown by the purple-haired girl from earlier–and it looks like she didn’t even try.

In the meantime, Eileen and the guys are now chowing down at a restaurant. Jin and Bryan are eating… rather noisily with Eileen telling them to stfu, but Yousuke notices Misuzu wandering around outside.

WELL THAT DIDN’T LAST TOO LONG. Back to Tokito, the men have had their asses single-handedly handed to them by the girl. When she jumps up to avoid two of the men, Tokito notices that the pendant she’s wearing looks exactly like the one McBoobs dropped. He places the necklace in his pocket, with the girl tearing up when she sees him. She runs to him and hugs him, calling him “Koichi” and exclaiming that she missed him a lot. Tokito is now V.V. CONFUSED… and we cut to something glowing UNDA DA SEA. Yeah I don’t know either, but we’re finally at the commercial break. SOB I’M SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH XD;

Back at the town, it appears that people are on the lookout for more Gardeners. The guys have finished eating, and they and Eileen help Misuzu look for Tokito. She’s obviously worried about him, which she doesn’t show when she’s around him. Back to Tokito, the mysterious girl is taking him to a strange building at the broken-down amusement park–WHY ARE YOU GOING PLACES WITH STRANGERS? … But I digress. Anyways, there’s a huge lock on the door so oops. He starts asking her questions, but as soon as he looks away, the lock and chains glow and break. … Wait what? Tokito just goes “oh I guess it was old then huh good luck o_o” and follows her inside.

Laughing, the girl assumes that “Koichi” has been there before, and that he was scared the first time around too. Tokito tries telling her that he’s not this Koichi person she seems to think he is. She forces him onto what appears to be a water ride, and tells him that “this brings back memories.” She finally introduces herself as Tea ( in the version I downloaded she says Tia, but the official spelling is Tea ), and the ride seemingly activates itself. Tokito’s SCARED LIKE HELL, but Tea’s just laughing, saying it’s exactly like the last time they rode it.

On a less happy matter, the gang is getting worried–something beyond the town’s boundaries apparently tripped the sensors they just finished setting. Thinking it’s just an error, they switch to the radar–apparently OVER NINE THOUSAND 250 Gardeners have been picked up by the sensors, with five S-ranks ( the strongest Gardeners ) among them. Still concerned about Tokito, Misuzu takes off in an attempt to find him before the Gardeners strike; the others get ready for EPIC BATTORU.

Speaking of Tokito! Back to his situation, the death trip seems to be over; he and Tea are now in what appears to be some sort of greenhouse, with shoujo butterflies and flowers and stuff all around. Tokito asks Tea how she knew of this place, to which she responds “:|||| we’ve been here before, gd it Koichi!” Tokito once again goes “KOICHI JA NAI, TOKITO DA XO” in vain. However, being the uke he is, he just gives up and tells her that she can keep calling him Koichi if that makes her happy. “IYAAAAA~N, KOICHI *_* *CLINGU*” is her response. :(

ENOUGH SICKENINGLY CUTE ROMANCE-Y STUFF, we cut to Eileen telling the leader of the town guard about the approaching army. He doesn’t seem to believe her, so he asks one of the other town guard people to check. And he confirms! Ohhhhh shit.

… Sob back to Tokito and Tea now. It’s revealed that Tea doesn’t remember anything prior to six months ago, except Koichi, which Tokito is still \(o_O)/ over. He then asks her if she knows what an “Olynssis phenomenon” is–apparently, it’s when people are ripped from their current location in the space-time continuum and thrown into either the past or the future. He thinks this is what happened with Tea, but she suddenly goes all USODA on him, and starts breaking down at the thought of being sent through time.

Okay back to the Gardener invasion, needs more action please. It looks like these things are ready to rape, and Eileen is kicking the town guard into shape. Jin is already in position; he finds out not 250 Gardeners are coming at them, but more than 500. Tokito and Tea are back on the ride, when Tokito recognizes the siren signaling an upcoming Gardener attack. Tea suddenly stands up, looking kinda cool possessed, saying that she “needs to protect Koichi.” The slide they’re riding on is… oops, broken! So once they reach the end, they kind of go flying into the ocean–or at least Tokito and the raft do; Tea is nowhere to be found.

The townspeople are panicking, and Misuzu is still searching for Tokito. He reaches the bottom of the shallow water, but quickly regains consciousness and resurfaces. Once he does, he spots Tea standing, yes standing, on the water, glowing green. He runs towards her, but something forces him back; she starts walking farther on the water, then suddenly stops. Remember the green glowy thingy from before the commercial break? It starts floating up towards where Tea is standing, and suddenly water shoots up and envelops Tea. HYDRO CANNON GET–er. Epic music ensues, and something seems to be rising up out of the funnel–the camera zooms out and we catch Ninja McBoobs–whose real name is Serena, according to the credits–staring at the funnel from a distance; apparently, everything is going JUST AS PLANNED.

Tokito figures out that…gasp, something’s in there! CONGRAAAAAATULATIONSSSS! … And now we’re getting a view from space. lol wut? It seems like someone out there was expecting this to happen too, and he utters a single word, “Silver.” ( note: It’s Silber in my version’s subs, but Silver is the correct translation. ) OYASHIRO-SAMA A pair of eyes are seen from inside the funnel, and… we end on a cliffhanger. SOB.

IMPRESSION; Despite negative things I’ve heard from my friends concerning this series, I’ve always kind of liked it–but it’s got that unfortunate factor that just makes it kind of… boring to watch. Not to mention the fact that Tea, who’s the main lead female, gets annoying really quick, and she’s kind of really a canon Mary Sue. I always thought Misuzu/Tokito was a lot cuter and had more backing it up, too. XO Oh well.

I’d honestly like it better if there was a little more fighting scenes with the Gardeners, or if the relationship between Tokito and Tea was expanded upon earlier–then again, it’s called a plot point, so. But yeah, there’s too much romance for it to be a good action series, and too much action for it to be a good romance series. :|

And ultimately, the only reason I really started watching this show was because I knew Miyu Irino provided the voice of the lead character, which is more than enough of a redemption factor to me because I’m a huge fag for him. *____*;; I’ll give this series another benefit of the doubt and try sitting through it one more time, for his sake.

The general holiday rush has made lazy bastards out of all of us, but somehow I managed to get my act in gear enough to write another review! Manda, Twin Power!’s other author is unable to watch must now, do to the fact that she lost her headphones. TAT But I’m still here! \o\ (I can literally hear the audience boo.)

The episode begins with Tawaraya asks what all this is about, and Ender replying with the verbal equivalent of \o_O/. They’re talking about… some story or other, and if it could be real or not. Apparently it came from the forums?! Ender says “it’s different this time though because derp derp Ovan :B”, and Tawaraya agrees with her. She says they can’t afford to overlook “this matter”. Tawaraya wanders off, musing about Haseo. (?!)

OOH NOOO ANOTHER BATTORU. sdkfj;df Ovan’s voice makes me want to kick a puppy ANWYAY. Haseo is fighting some.. thing. And winning! And it’s flashing back to his memories of Ovan and Shino from the previous two episodes has he does so. … Mainly Shino. He then says “… OVAN” (?!?) and a party of three appear behind him, containing Some Green Haired Blade Brandier, Furfag Numero Tres, and Some Chick Who Looks Like a Whore. They’re clearly PKs, and FN3 asks if he’s Haseo. Haseo asks “WELL WHAT IF I AM >O”, FN3 steps closer….

And the scene changes. Shino, Ovan, Tabby, and Sakisaka are sitting on some hill. Shino asks if Ovan’s gonna do anything more to get Haseo to join them, while Tabby annoys Sakisaka. Ovan… doesn’t say anything, and neither does Sakisaka (lol at him holding Tabby at arms length and then letting her drop). Ovan, being the mysterious bastard that he is, says “oh when the time comes everything will be okay \o\”. He then compares Haseo too… a seed, I guess, and says it’s too early to harvest. Tabby is like “haseo wut :o”, and the camera slowly pans off of them.

Another scene change. Haseo is like “…. uh”, because the PKs… are bowing down to him?! They ask him. again, if he’s the LEGENDARY BLACK ADEPT ROGUE MEESTER HASEO, but Haseo doesn’t understand why he’s so… lol legendary. Whore-chick said they wanted to team up with him, because if they teamed up with him, they wouldn’t have to fear anything. Haseo runs away as fast as possible, rofl. He’s vaguely happy that he wasn’t being followed for a second there, but someone says HEY I FOUND YOU :D. It’s… an entirely new set of players, wanting to team up with him too. (for some reason, THE ENCHANTING BLACK ADEPT ROGUE made me lol).

Haseo says “GREAT NOW I’M ENCHANTING :|” and the two new people walk over to him. Guy 1 comments that he looks like any other PC, and Guy 2 chastens him, saying that’s because Haseo’s a SECRET CHARACTER. They… knock him down and start to beat the shit out of him, bitching about how Haseo does not magically release chim spheres or rare items all the while. lol PKs. Haseo says NO WAIT I’M TANAKA, and the guys see clearly through that bullshit. \o\ They prepare to take his stuff, but Guy 2′s blade mysteriously drops in front of him. Haseo looks up… Oh hey, it’s Tawaraya to the rescue?! The two guys bodies lay sprawling next to him as Haseo eloquently says “HMPH :|”

Another scene change. Tawaraya asks if Haseo’s read the forum – everyone on there is discussing him, THE LEGENDARY/ENCHANTING BLACK ADEPT ROGUE, THE MODIFIED BLACK ADEPT ROGUE, THE AI WHO DOESN’T REALLY EXIST, etc. Haseo asks what Tawaraya thinks he is, and Tawaraya is like “derp idk” – Tawaraya just wants to know why Ovan seems to be interested in him. Apparently, this whole bullshit about OH GOD HASEO SO SPECIAL came from Ovan himself, according to Tawaraya. Haseo asks if Tawaraya even KNOWS Ovan. Tawaraya gets all in his face, saying that the principle of business is giving and taking. Haseo agrees to tell him everything he knows about Ovan, but… there’s really nothing to tell, considering Ovan is either the ~*~eccentric~*~ master of the Twilight Brigade or looking for the Key of the Twilight. Tawaraya say WHAAAAAT.

derp derp here we go again. Ovan is the only one standing on that hill now – as his scarf whips in the wind, he says that plants are mysterious. “Even if you forget about them, they still bloom, and they still leave new seeds when they die. :|” Nice and gruesome, Ovan. Tabby appears behind him, looking vaguely “OAO why is he talking about plants”. She asks him what color of flowers he likes. Ovan says “Black.” (Dsafkhiuysf) It flips back to Tawaraya. He says he’s leaving now, because Haseo doesn’t have anything new to tell about Ovan. Tawaraya tells him basically the same thing Ovan does – you have to get stronger. Haseo replies with ?!?!?, and Tawaraya leaves.

They show Tawaraya walking up to Ender. She asks how it went. Tawaraya doesn’t get why Ovan is so interested in Haseo, but Ender said “Ovan’s interested in him so we’re interested in him :D” They mention something about TaN, which I’m assuming is the guild they’re a part of.

Back to Mac Anu! \o\ It shows the main plaza, and Haseo being bored. Tabby smacks him on the back, knocking a bunch of boxes over, and says “SUP HASEO” and he begins to walk away, rofl. Tabby runs after him, continually saying his name. Haseo finally gives up and asks her wtf she wants, and she holds up a card. “Ovan wants you to have this! :D”, and Haseo takes it. It’s the Guest Key to the Twilight Brigade’s @HOME. Tabby says that Ovan’s waiting for him, and throws in that Haseo’s waiting to meet Ovan again. He seems to like this idea, but as soon as Tabby mentions Shino, he walks away. Tabby follows him anyway. Haseo tells her to close her eyes for a minute, and Tabby holds them open for as long as possible. She then goes on and on about her eyes, with Haseo’s basic reaction being “… uh.” Tabby is apparently getting on his nerves, so he logs out.

The next scene starts with Haseo on everyone’s favorite bridge. Haseo’s fiddling with the guest key, when… the screen inverts for DRAMATIC TENSION and Ovan is seen walking along some streets. Haseo runs after him, and Ovan turns a corner. Haseo follows him and… runs into Tawaraya. Haseo asks if Tawaraya made the screen invert, and Tawaraya is just as confused as Haseo is. Tawaraya asks what Haseo saw, and Haseo goes \o_O/. Tawaraya says the same thing everyone’s been saying for two episodes – there’s something special about Haseo. The real question is, who will he give that special… thing too? Tawaraya gives him a guest key, and tells Haseo to consider the consequences of saying “gtfo” to those in TaN, while people in the background discuss Haseo and Tawaraya animatedly. Haseo responds with IDK OKAY >O and runs off.

Tabby is shown, asking Sakisaka if she’s annoying. Sakisaka replies with “Well, I wonder why I still hang out with you :B”. Ovan and Shino are shown in the background, and Shino says she believes she needs to meet with Haseo one more time, because TaN has already started to make their move. Ovan says that everything is already predetermined, and walks off. o Ovan. Haseo is shown staring at the two Guest Keys. “Become stronger, eh?” he says, as the sun drifts behind a cloud, it’s seen that he’s not alone – Shino is there, staring off into the distance with him. Haseo tells her to ask already, and Shino replies with “ask what :B” innocently. Haseo begins to walk off, and he turns back to look at Shino sitting there innocently before the scene changes.

Tawaraya is holding a blade, while Ovan stands in front of that large chest in the Twilight Brigade’s @HOME. Both are clearly waiting for Haseo, who is still staring at the individual Guest Keys. Eventually, he stands up, walks across a bridge, and throws the Guest Key to TaN away. Haseo pushes open the door to the @HOME aaand… DRAMATIC TENSION… it shows Shino still sitting where Haseo left her. The only one in TaN is Ender, clearly displaying Haseo’s choice. Ender says that Haseo’s existence has become vitally important to Ovan. Haseo is shown walking off, and the door of the @HOME opens to show Ovan. They stare at each other for a couple minutes, before Ovan finally breaks into a smile, and says “Welcome to the…!” Haseo stops, and says he can let himself in.

A small flashback reveals Shino asking Ovan about the rumors on the forum, and Ovan barely responds at all. Ovan and Haseo are shown walking into the guild together FAGS and the door shuts, signifying the end of the episode.

Impression: … Well! Other then my huge obsession for all things Ovan and Ovan/Haseo, this episode was one of the more solid ones. It actually had somewhat of a plot (two separate guilds competing for the addition of a valuable player), even if the end was somewhat predictable.

But wow, this is one dub I never want to sit through again. It seems like everyone’s voices are grating and annoying, and the wailing vocal background music was a down turn from last episode. The animation wasn’t as bad this time, but it’s still not exactly top notch. Lots of close ups do not balance out the absolutely TERRIBLE far away shots. Even the backgrounds (and animations) are reused over such a short period of 2 episodes.

And to me, the characterization of Haseo and co seems fishy, but it is early on in the series. Perhaps I should give it… more time (gag) to sort itself out. If I’m lucky, .hack//ROOTS will manage to retain the “watchable” qualities this episode contained. My luck has never been stellar, though. >:

I’ll definitely still be laughing in the end.

Maybe not a turn off, but it sure is boring as hell.

And, episode start! The camera pans across a grassy field, and shows Shino (and what I assume to be a Lucky Animal). The Lucky Animal walks over to her, and they kind of smile and headtilt at each other before Shino randomly stands up and looks serious. The Lucky Animal sense the unexpected change in personality and rubs her leg like a cat. If anyone could tell me what the point of that was, I’d be eternally grateful.

Here we see Tabby and Shino hanging out by this waterfall place (whatever it is). Tabby comments on how she never knew this place existed. Shino tells her that this is the LOST GROUND. Tabby asks an obvious question, to which Shino responds with an obvious answer, and Ovan shows up! Ovan asks if he kept them waiting, to which Shino responds with a resounding “yep :D”. Formalities are exchanged between Ovan and Tabby, and Shino says “derp let’s take her back to the @HOME”, because obviously Tabby hasn’t seen it yet. Ovan agrees, but Shino says “oops gotta see him brb”.

Scene change! It shows the main town, Mac Anu and then the Chaos Gate. Haseo logs in just as Shino says “I KNEW YOU’D COME :D”. Haseo glares at her, and she tells him to take a walk with her. “Why?” says the oh so master of conversation Haseo, but he eventually agrees to it. Haseo hangs back a little as Shino opens the doors, and she tells him that he cannot be PKed in towns, so he should lighten up a bit. :< Haseo’s MANLINESS (ha. ha.) makes him say THAT ISN’T IT >O and he steps through the door.

It shows the canal, and Shino asking Haseo why he logged back in, as she thought he’d never come back after that whole I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME speech. Haseo says that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH HER JESUS SHINO >O, but Shino says it has everything to do with her, because he’s got a ~*~special attribute~*~. Haseo wonders how she knew, and Shino says that Ovan told her. Haseo asks what Ovan is to her – OBVIOUSLY IT’S MORE THEN THEY’RE IN THE SAME GUIDE TOGETHER RIGHT. RIGHT?!?!

(I had to pause the video so I could laugh at Haseo’s ridiculous hair here.)

Shino finally introduces herself to him, and says “hey why don’t you join us *_* you’re not in a guild yet right *___*”, but first, Haseo wants her to answer a question! The question – what is Shino’s relationship with Ovan?!?! Shino calmly replies that she’s his substitute. Haseo then asks “so what’s this guild about :B” (glad to know that takes a backseat to relationships, Haseo!) and Shino replies with the guilds name (?!?!). Haseo says “so i herd sum things – namely, you’re looking for something?” and Shino says the five magic words – the Key of the Twilight. OH BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!

Shino asks if Haseo will answer her question now, but she then takes it back, saying Haseo doesn’t have to answer immediately. Haseo asks where Ovan is (YOU FAG) and Shino says he’s with another new member, which grabs Haseo’s interest. After hearing this, Haseo says he won’t join the guild. Shino basically responds with the verbal “oh well \O_o/ we need you but if you wanna abandon us go right ahead \o\!” She then gives Haseo her member address, and says if he ever needs the help of the Twilight Brigade, let her know! Haseo stares off into the distance with the same expression he’s had in three different scenes. Shino then tells him to look people in the eyes when he’s talking to them, which made me lol.

Haseo, however, finds this a difficult subject to understand – he basically says “why? It’s a game :|”. Shino, of course, responds mysteriously, saying that people don’t like to talk to you if you don’t look at them. Haseo doesn’t get it, still, but Shino says something about babies and their mother’s faces… AND THEN INSULTS HIM HAHA. Of course, Haseo doesn’t take kindly to this, and Shino leaves with a grin. rofl.

New scene! Sakisaka is hanging out around the guild flag, when Ovan and Tabby show up. Tabby comments that it’s JUST LIKE A SECRET BASE and Sakisaka asks if she’s the new recruit. Ovan says “obviously, oh tabby this is the guy you’ll be hanging with \o\” Sakisaka doesn’t treat her too kindly, and instead asks Ovan if he’s gtfoing again, to which OVan responds that he’s gathering information. Sakisaka says they can do just fine without him, thank you, and Ovan’s basic response is “yep :B”. Sakisaka says that her level is way too low, and Tabby happily says that she’s just a beginner. She then asks Sakisaka-”Senpai” to show her the ropes. That made me lol, too.

Back to Mac Anu! Haseo is standing on his favorite bridge, chatting it up with Phyllo. He wants to know stuff about the brigade, and Phyllo tells him the little he knows – mainly things about the Key of the Twilight. The Twilight Brigade is searching for it, like Shino says. Phyllo mentions BBS posts about it, but when Haseo goes to read them, Phyllo adds that they’re just theories – things like all your stats going to the highest level, prizes increase, one of a kind weapons, wishes will be granted, the rules of the game can be overturned, shit like that. Haseo asks about the members, to which Phyllo responds there’s only around 2 or 3. Phyllo, as if sensing my faggotry, asks if Haseo wants to meet Ovan – Phyllo says he knows a former member, who just HAPPENED to log in right then, and he offers to introduce them.

OOOOH NOOOO BATTORU. Sakisaka kills the stupid monster with one hit, and tells Tabby to lead the battle. They talk about combo attacks for a while, and Tabby thanks her. Sakisaka goes “!? why me?!”, to which Tabby replies that he can use spells, and that Ovan’s too strong. “There’s only you, Sakisaka-san!” She tells him, and he takes that… well.

Aaaand Mac Anu again! Haseo warps to where Big Breasted Friend of Phyllo’s requested they meet. She doesn’t mince words in telling Haseo to come with her, and Haseo follows her down a dark alley. BBFOP lets the bomb drop that she didn’t want anybody to know she was in that guild. She warns him against getting involved with them, saying things like them sending her off to weird places and had her on standby for hours. Haseo, in a period of remarkable brightness, says she must have stayed because she believe the Key existed. Haseo asks a bunch of nosy questions, but she says it wasn’t the item she was interested in, and then asks about his interest in the guild. Haseo replies with an “Ovan, I guess.” (STOP FEEDING MY FAGGOTRY) and BBFOP says that’s also what she was after.

BBFOP forewarns him – even if he joins, he won’t know anything about Ovan. She bluntly tells him that he’ll just be used. BBFOP says there’s another who left the guild – he’s a troublemaker, but he’ll meet with Haseo.

… rofl. This scene starts with Tawaraya snoring away on the floor. Ender calls him a slob, and Tawaraya says that working in the real world is hard enough. He notices Ender’s new blade, and then… runs up to it. Ender says to let her USE it first god Tawaraya, but in reality, Ender would rather have a one of a kind then that rare blade, and asks Tawaraya to get it for her. What does she want? The Key of the Twilight, of course! Tawaraya asks if she actually thinks it exists, and Tawaraya mentions that Naobi’s looking for it too… on the basis that Ovan is looking for it. He then runs off to do his job as the guild merchant.

Another scene change! Ovan is talking about Haseo, of course. Shino comments that it’d be better if Ovan went to convince him to join, saying that Haseo was really interested in him. Shino doesn’t understand why he didn’t join, and then suggests that he’s just selfish. Ovan agrees to go see him, and Shino says that he’s acting unusally cooperative. Shino is sure that Haseo will join them, just because of a woman’s intuition.

Haseo is parading the fields alone in this scene, when we see Purple Haired S/h/it pop out of nowhere, obviously doing ANOTHER attempt to PK him. They fight until Haseo is at the edge of the cliff. Clearly cornered, Haseo doesn’t move an inch. S/h/it says that he’s got spirt, for a weakling, and indirectly introduces BBFOP as B-Set. S/h/it asks if he’s going to defeat Ovan, but Haseo says he just wants to know about him. S/h/it states the obvious and says that Ovan isn’t like your normal players, and then asks for Haseo’s opinion on Ovan’s arm. S/h/it gives Haseo the same warning (to stay away from Ovan) and then demands an information fee. Haseo says he’s pretty much broke, and S/H/it tells him to pay with his body (HAHAHA)… “oh wait, just kidding lol :D.”.

After finishing up their conversation, Haseo gates back into Mac Anu… where Ovan is waiting for him! Ovan is apparently waiting for someone, and Tabby runs up. Ovan begins to introduce her, when Tabby cuts him off… and runs off to do shopping. ADD much? Ovan says that she’s energetic… And Ovan asks him to join. Haseo replies with his usual “no hablo” reaction, to which Ovan counters that words are basically meaningless. He then poses a good question – which is more fun, looking for the Key because it might exist, or not believing in it at all? Haseo says he’ll think about it, and Haseo says he’ll be leaving now.

Naobi approaches Phyllo, clearly wanting to ask about Haseo. Phyllo comments that they should go talk somewhere more private, and they walk off. In another completely different area, Shino tells the Lucky Animal that she does believe in Haseo joining, she does, she does! The episode ends here.

This episode had plenty of unintentionally hilarious moments, but not much in terms of content. A bunch of throwaway characters were introduced solely for the point of discussing Ovan… but… Ovan wasn’t even really talked about! The general idea was “idk :D”, and revealed absolutely nothing about his history that I already know.

And while the music still remains stellar, the animation is on a steady decline – I found myself pausing the episode to laugh multiple times, especially at Haseo. I’m not exactly expecting Haruhi Suzumiya here (it’s BeeTrain), but I swear to god, his hair looked like a triangle at one point. TAT// Here’s hoping for at least a slight increase in general quality.

…. Right!

We start with a really trippy and slightly homo opening. Well, I’ve seen worse… It shows ANOTHER really trippy scene of Haseo, our “hero”, being PKed. And then he’s… up walking with Ovan, huge gun and all. Ovan explains about PKs a bit, introduces himself (Haseo returns the favor) and Haseo thanks Ovan for saving him. Ovan randomly says “BECOME STRONG” (???) and goes on to say that this is a very difficult game for new players. A bunch of other cryptic crap follows (oh, Ovan ♥) and tells Haseo he has an attribute only he has (?!?!?). Haseo responds with a rousing “wtf”, and Ovan gates out. Haseo.. kinda stares blankly at the place where Ovan was, and the camera pans over to some furfag. Some furfag.. floats off into the distance after watching Haseo gtfo.

Scene change! We see a Beast Statue (or did they call them that in R1?) with an open chest. Another furfag is fangirling some gloves and asking Shino if she can really have them. Oh, apparently, Another Furfag’s name is Tabby. Tabby thanks Shino, who was like “lol it’s okay :D” and by this time, it’s clear that Tabby is new to the game. Shino says that THE MASTER is calling her — oh wait, it’s just the guide master. Tabby asks about Guilds and stuff, and Shino says she’s a member of the Twilight Brigade. Tabby asks if they can EVER MEET AGAIN, Shino says “lol sure use the email address retard” and leaves. Tabby hugs her gloves with an *A*!!!!! expression.

Aaand another. It shows some random waterfall place with DRAMATIC ENTRANCE music in the background, and shows Ovan contemplating suicide standing on the edge of a broken bridge. Shino walks up to him and apologizes for keeping him waiting. There’s a LOT of cryptic conversation here, so I’ll just say that they’re talking about Haseo. They randomly flip over to Tabby, I’m assuming. Shino has high hopes for her, and asks if Ovan is gonna go meet with her. Ovan says “of course lol” and Shino mentions some guy named Sakisaka. Shino says some MYSTEEERRRIOUS shit, as does Ovan. Shino goes ?!?! at this.

Derp derp again. It shows a tapestry thing, a bunch of treasure, and finally Some Blue Guy and Some Green-Haired Chick. Clearly they’re having a meeting, because GHC says “SHOW UP ON TIME GD THIS KIDS >O” as Fat Guy walks into the room. He mentions a deal and some kid, and asks what this gd meeting is about. They begin to discuss Ovan and the Twilight Brigade. –Blue Guy is now Naobi. They talk about them searching for something. (Fat Guy is apparently Tawaraya and GHC is Ender.) Naobi wants to know more about Haseo and goes on to describe him to Ender. (Tawaraya mocks his character class, which made me lol slightly.) Naobi tells Ender to keep the TaN (which I’m assuming is her guild) out of this, to which she responds “lol k”. Tawaraya begins to leave, but Naobi says the equivalent of GET BACK HERE >O, but Tawaraya mentions he already knows and says something about an “antenna”. Then he leaves. \o\

Snip snip, again! It shows a (ugly :<) city and a nice boat. It shows varying amounts of people being all “derp derp happy” and then… Haseo emoing on a bridge. Yay! Two girls walk by, talking about some guy’s rare staff and they say “DO WANT *_* I wonder if he’ll drop it :ooo” so it can be assumed they’re going to PK him. PKKs follow the PKers, saying that they shouldn’t talk so openly like that. Haseo asks “what’s with this game?” when a mysterious voice agrees with him. Hey, it’s some furfag! Some furfag asks if Ovan left him behind. Haseo says “YOU KNOW HIM? :|” and… Some Furfag fades away into static, and Haseo is left talking to air like a batshit person. He appears again, saying that his cat pulled the cord. Some Furfag says “let’s talk! :D”. Haseo merely glares, and Some Furfag glares back. “Heh.” states Haseo. So poetic.

Cut to Some Furfag and Haseo standing behind some boxes. Some Furfag says he’ll give Haseo his member address. He explains some stuff about parties that I already knew blah blah… Haseo says “Why?” (very coherent there). This causes Some Furfag to explode into a rant. Haseo randomly asks about Ovan, what he’s like, etc. Some Furfag replies with “well what did you think of him???”. Haseo says “A… mysterious person?”. Some Furfag asks if he knows the difference between “mysterious” and “eccentric” which made me laugh too damn hard. Haseo responds with a resounding “Guild???” Oh, Haseo. ♥

Some Furfag is still bitching about the manual and Haseo leaves. But before he manages to get farther away, Some Furfag tells him that Ovan has been following him. Haseo responds with a resounding “lol wut”. Some Furfag mysteriously replies “Well, he is an eccentric man… he must have some eccentric reason for doing it!” which, again, made me laugh stupidly. Some furfag acts all pouty and begins to fly away. He says if Haseo ever wants to play by himself in The World, Some Furfag can show him a great way to play! Haseo FINALLY asks him for his name, and Some Furfag becomes Phyllo. Haseo asks why the hell is he playing this game, to which Phyllo replies, “I’m just killing time. \o\”

Cut, again! Another shot of some tapestry thing is seen. This is apparently the Twilight Brigade’s headquarters, because there’s an Ovan grunty (asdks;yiert) and Shino, tending to some berries. We hear a loud HELLOOOOOO, and Cape Guy enters, kicking Ovan Grunty as he does. (… :<<<<) As Cape Guy is bitching about how they can never play the game like a real guild, Shino introduces him as Sakisaka and says that’s why she called him – one or two people might be joining the brigade. Sakisaka is excited, until he hears they’re fairly new to the game, and then he bitches about that, too, and he vaguely wonders why he’s still in the damn guild. Shino just… laughs. Oh, Shino.

A new scene! Haseo is fighting some retarded monster with blade-hands. And… winning, surprisingly. Haseo is somewhat happy he made it to Level 3.. and sees Ender sitting in the hallway. Ender laughs mysteriously and says she was getting tired of waiting for him. Ender asks what his connection to Ovan is. Haseo says there is none – just that Ovan revived him after he got PKed. Ender completely changes the subject, and asks why he wants to play this game in the first place. Haseo said it was because his friend said the game was interesting, but Ender points out that it was past-tense, and tells Haseo that they might’ve been playing R1. Ender asks if Haseo or his “friend” know the real Ovan, to which Haseo replies “\O_o/”. Eloquent.

Ender takes out her blade, and tells Haseo to think about it carefully – why was Haseo PKed? Haseo replies with the verbal equivelant of \O_o/ again. Ender asks “How did they do it~?” and runs a finger up his chest. “Was it like this~?” (This entire scene made me crack up, by the way.) Haseo is shaking, but just standing there. Ender asks if he’s not going to beg. Apparently, Haseo still has a speck of manliness left in him, because when Ender tells him “lol you can run now :D” he doesn’t. Ender just condescendingly asks what Ovan could possibly want with “a loser like you”. Haseo emos. And the people who care slowly dissipate.

Cut back to those PKs we saw when Haseo first spoke with Phyllo. They’re saying how easy it was to PK both the one that they were targeting AND the PKKs that were going to go after them. Haseo shudders. The girls notice him, and say “hey, didn’t we see that tard earlier :o” but before they can do anything, Haseo logs out.

Back to this cathedral thingy who’s name I can’t spell. Haseo is standing before the Beast Statue he got PKed in front of, and he hears Ovan’s voice. Haseo asks the two worst questions – when and why. Haseo bitches that he shouldn’t have started playing this game… and turns to see the girl PKs! Who’s suprised. They’re… They’re not even fighting with weapons, and Haseo still goes flying. A+. Haseo draws his weapons, and the girl’s voices turn… extremely male. Haseo blocks and dodges, amazingly enough. S/h/it says he’s way too weak to be playing solo, and Haseo randomly slashes at them. They’ve got him in a corner… and someone says “Stop what you’re doing!” just as he’s about to die.

Why, it’s Shino, here to rescue him. Shino says that they should go to the arena if they want to fight, but they’re like “It’s not what you think! :D” and leave. Shino approaches him and kneels down to his eye level. Shino tells him not to quit with a happy smile. Haseo emos. Shino says “it’s not pointless… because we need you. Welcome, Haseo. Welcome to the world!”

The episode ends there with an ending theme I couldn’t bear to listen to or watch.

Honestly, I heard it was going to be bad, but I didn’t expect anything this bad. The animation was terrible and the plot flatter then my mother’s pancakes. If I hadn’t played volume 1, I probably wouldn’t have had the faintest clue what was going on. Speaking of volume 1, if you’ve played the games before you watch this… don’t. Everything will seem really… odd, for lack of a better word. The only saving grace was the gorgeous music, as .hack// series seems to have.

I’m hoping it’ll pick up in the second or so episode, and Haseo will stop turning into Tsukasa 2.0. :| I am not amused by this BAAAAAAWWWWW HAET GAMES shit they’re trying to pull. Then again, I am an incredibly huge fan of train wrecks (that’s why I stuck with School Days so long). If worst comes to worst, these reviews will degenerate into me laughing my fucking ass off at Phyllo implying that Ovan is… eccentric.

Welcome to the world of Baccano! tl;dr, it’s a series about alchemists, Mafia and mobsters, and a group of Immortals. It starts out with a buuunch of different groups of people who, as the series goes on, all get twisted up in the same huge plot. Also it has a really annoying and confusing timeline okay let’s start.

NOTE: Since Lita and I already watched the first five episodes of Baccano! prior to the creation of TWIN POWER! and reviewing this episode alone was hard enough, we won’t be going back and reviewing those. S-sorry. XD;; Also, this goes for any series we start reviewing like, half-way through, unless otherwise…done.

Aaand so we start out with these two guys, Nicolas and Elean talking about some…stuff. Nicolas steps out of the room, and apparently has a azn spy…spying on Dallas Geonard. Uhh yeah.

NOW we jump back to the lolariously named train, the Flying Pussyfoot. I could make so many jokes about that here but I’m too busy trying to concentrate on writing this review, which I’m failing at anyways. \o\ And so the “Rail Tracer,” a supposedly legendary monster that haunts trains, BAD ENDS somebody! This…girl under the train starts climbing under it trying to get away from the Rail Tracer and stuff idk. I dunno who it is. \(o_O)/

BACK TO 1930. gd it this timeline is confusing. Dallas is trying to work out an agreement of some sorts with one Luck Gandor, who is just like :|. He bluntly tells Dallas that him and his group are useless. Dallas and co. get rallied up, aaand Luck’s bodyguard apparently promptly beats the crap out of them. :|b

And back to the Pussyfoot ( god I keep lol’ing ) Czesakldjfa;sjf ( real name Czeslaw Meyer; now dubbed Czes-kun from here on because I can’t be bothered to remember his real name and that’s a lot cuter ) hides a little loli named Mary in a closet. Now we jump to Jacuzzi Splot ( *A*! ), a bumbling crybaby who seems reaaaallly out of place in this story, and his friend Nice Holyday, who have just rescued a couple of his friends who were being held in a locked room.

NOW SURPRISE LADD RUSSO. This guy is fucking crazy. With his group, he’s just rescued his lover Lua Klein, when a guy begs him to untie him too. Ladd shows us his craziness and starts rambling to the guy while looking very threatening… and before we can find out what happens, we cut to Jacuzzi, who gets freaked out by some blood seeping from under a door!

Then, Mary is like OH GOD I HOPE NOBODY HEARS ME and promptly knocks over…something inside the closet she’s in. One of Ladd’s consorts finds her and BAD END!–but not for her! A surprise person stabs the guy, and when Chane Laforet is revealed with a bloody dagger in her hand, Mary screams.

BACK TO JACUZZI. Apparently that door with the blood was the room Ladd was in. Ladd seems to know Jacuzzi, and in turn, Jacuzzi recognizes the Russo family. Jacuzzi asks if Ladd’s group murdered the conductors of the Pussyfoot, but apparently they didn’t. Then they leave. Jacuzzi opens the door that Ladd came through, and–

Say hello to Isaac Dian and Miria Harvent, the most awesome pair of thieves ever. They get hit by an unknown car, but they’re okay! By the way, this takes place in Firo Prochainezo‘s, a member of the Cammora Mafia family, timeline–and surprise Dallas’s group talking about him. Then, uhh, they beat each other up? dunno lol.

Now we get shown examples of Isaac and Miria’s adventures! … They are retards. Adorable retards, but yeah. *A* Surprisingly, though, they’re somewhat successful thieves! Then Isaac reveals his plot to steal money from the Mafia! And lo and behold, here comes Dallas, who just heard Isaac’s exclamation. And remember, Dallas comes from a Mafia family. Ooooops.

BACK TO 1931. Man I kind of hate this. :( I…can’t really tell what’s going on here, but we see Nicolas’s azn spy in a car, watching the two people on screen. Don’t ask me who they are, I can’t tell because wtf it’s too dark. :(

Another jump, and here we’re introduced to Dallas’s sister, Eve Geonard! Her maid tells them that a newspaper company knows some info about her brother. –Aaand yeah that’s pretty much all that goes on here. \(o_O)/

Back to the Pussyfoot, Jacuzzi and co. has discovered a man that Ladd had (presumably) killed. Yeah, the same one that begged Ladd to free him. Twisted bastard. One of Jacuzzi’s groupies opens the window to barf, and sees something outside. Telling the others, they all peek out the window, and…DUN DUN DUN, THE RAIL TRACER!!!11!1

Okay back to Miria getting badtouched by one of Dallas’s guys. Here we’re introduced to Ennis…and I forgot who she exactly is for the time being. TAT Dallas and the rest of his gang are beating up Isaac ( OTL! ), but Ennis takes care of business and kicks all their asses single-handedly. Isaac and Miria thank Ennis, who apparently is not used to getting thanked. But surprise, Ennis is the one that hit them in the beginning of the episode! But they’re too stupid to notice that so lol. And then she requests for them to help move the guys to her car. \o\

BACK TO NICOLAS AND ELEAN AKSDJFA. They’ve been informed that Eve has been kidnapped. Elean and…apparently a person behind a mountain of books and papers start talking about things, including Immortals and the Flying Pussyfoot. This part was too confusing to pay attention to. D:

NOW it’s kind of like a cult thing idk. Ennis gets a taco syringe, ohhhhh noooo, and injects one of the mobsters she saved Isaac and Miria from ( I think? ) with an unknown substance! And that’s the end of the ep. orz cliffhangers.

And there we have it, review done! \o\ S-sorry for it being so confusing and tl;dr. XD;;

This contains huge spoilers for the second volume of .hack//GU. You’ve been warned.

Anyway. The… “episode” starts with everyone’s favorite blue haired steam gunner. And he’s spinning Tri-Edge’s blade with that arm thing in the background. The AIDA background even spins with him. Cute, eh?

Well, that’s the entire episode, so if you don’t think that’s cute you’re kind of… well, screwed.

Here we have stellar animation, coloring, music… Everything you could ever want from an anime is right here. The lead character’s characterization is just fantastic, the music quality is amazing, and although the animation does get a bit jerky in some parts, it’s still stellar quality for most videos of it’s kind.

I give my hat to you, Zer0theBurninator (and such a creative name, too)! You have brought us a true masterpiece in spinning format.

Now, the shows must go on, of course – we’re both currently watching Baccano! and Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai, though other series have a strong possibility of being picked up along the way. I, Lita, am playing the .hack//GU franchise, Final Fantasy XII, and several other game replays. Manda is playing… something, probably Kingdom Hearts. So, sit back and enjoy!

And remember, TWIN HIVEMIND DOES NOT FORGIVE. /O/!